So realized something at the Dentist today

So background. Recently we switched from a child dentist (I know 30 is very late to switch but they kept me longer because of the autism) The dentist not only found a way I could actually brush my teeth but as we went for fillings today did something else great! See in the past the child dentist would put me on laughing gas but it never did much and I would have to endure, holding my mothers hand, while they worked in my mouth. THE NEW DENTIST realized the dose I was getting was way too low and not doing much and bumped it up to 40 something or another. AND BAM didn’t have to hold my mothers hand, was super relaxed, and got way more work done then normal. But while I was coming off the gas I kind of realized the constant state of Hypervigilance and semi fear I always live in, because for the first time something had taken it away for awhile? It was interesting. I knew the world was terrifying but not that I lived in that state all the time!

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